how to communicate better.
nobody gets you, and it's not "just a phase."
"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood."
- Karl Popper
Aside from teenagers, almost everyone wants to be understood.
However, despite our best efforts to express ourselves clearly, misunderstandings are inevitable—a byproduct of subjective interpretations, cultural differences, and confusing jargon.
So, what can you do about it?
The Missing Foundations
One of the key reasons you’re misunderstood lies in the absence of a shared foundation during conversations.
Mathematicians, philosophers, and scientists often begin by establishing axioms or truths—agreed-upon principles that serve as the bedrock for further exploration. Without these, their insights would collapse under the weight of misinterpretation or disagreement. But in everyday interactions, this approach is rarely used. Instead, people often assume that their audience shares their worldview, context, or values. This gap between speaker and listener is where misunderstandings flourish.
For example, imagine discussing climate change with someone who doesn’t accept the scientific consensus. Without first addressing this foundational difference, the conversation is doomed to spiral into frustration and miscommunication. Establishing a shared basis isn’t about agreeing on everything—it’s about creating a common starting point for meaningful dialogue.
The Responsibility of Clarity
Isaac Newton famously said, "If I have seen further, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants."
Yet, the ability to see further is most valuable when you can guide those still at ground level to understand what you see. Creating simple and clear explanations allows you to consolidate ideas while meeting others at the same level.
Imagine explaining a groundbreaking idea to someone unfamiliar with its foundational concepts. Without first building a common understanding, your words might feel like incomprehensible jargon. Similarly, in everyday conversations, diving into complex topics without establishing shared assumptions is like trying to build a skyscraper on shifting sands. The higher you go, the less stable the structure becomes.
Clarity also requires being aware of your audience’s context and limitations. What might seem obvious to you could be entirely foreign to them. This isn’t a reflection of their intelligence but rather of their exposure and perspective. It’s your responsibility to meet them where they are, not where you wish they would be.
The Noise of the Digital Age
This problem is amplified in today’s fast-paced digital world, where communication often takes the form of short bursts—tweets, soundbites, memes. The nuance required to establish a common ground is sacrificed for brevity.
Without a stable foundation, every word becomes a potential landslide, ready to be misinterpreted, misrepresented, or weaponized.
Social media compounds this issue. Algorithms prioritize engagement, often favouring style over substance. This fosters a culture where people skim for attention-baiting clips and headlines. In this environment, being misunderstood isn’t just probable—it’s inevitable.
But the digital age also offers tools for clarity. Long-form platforms, podcasts, and well-crafted visual aids can help convey complexity. The challenge is resisting the pressure to oversimplify.
How to Be Understood
So how do you bridge the gap and make yourself better understood?
Identify and articulate your assumptions. Before making your point, ask yourself: What am I assuming to be true? Does my audience share this assumption? Making these foundations explicit from the get-go.
Simplify without dumbing down. Complexity doesn’t require obfuscation. Strive to present your ideas in a way that is accessible but not patronizing. Use analogies, visuals, or relatable examples to bridge gaps in understanding.
Adapt to your medium. Different platforms require different strategies. A tweet demands brevity, while a blog post allows for depth. Tailor your message to fit the constraints of your medium without sacrificing clarity.
Accept that misunderstandings happen. Popper’s quote is not an admittance of defeat, but a reminder to stay aware in your interactions. Perfect communication is unattainable, but improvement is always possible. By striving for clarity, you can narrow the gap between what you mean and what others understand.
Conclusion
You may never fully escape being misunderstood—it’s part of the human condition. But by laying a strong foundation, you can minimize the gaps in understanding and build connections that truly resonate.
You may see further from atop the giants, but your vision becomes most valuable when you help others view the horizon.